Yuruginai Shinrai
by Cantella
Summary: Allen hates seeing the fourteenth in the mirror,so he breaks them.When the number cuts and bruises increase,people start to talk.When Kanda hears of this,he gets concerned,more than he should be. Yullen, OC. COMPLETE.
1. Begin

**Yuruginai Shinrai**

By ShiraiHime

Disclaimer: If I owned it,Kanda would make it his daily life's goal to screw Allen into the mattress.

_A/N:Nothing much to say,so uh,here we go!xD_

_**1—Begin **_

Glass shattered,breaking into millions of tiny pieces,some cutting into his skin,but he didn't care,as long as he got away from _that_.His grey eyes,usually filled with joy,were now crazed,as he continued breaking all the mirrors in the room. He huffed,it wasn't enough,there were just too many,all of them had _that_ on them. That horrible,nightmarish figure that haunted him.

'_No matter what,you can't escape'_

He fell to the floor,screaming words of denial,covering his ears as tears started to leak out of his closed eyes,falling down his pale cheeks. He didn't want to see him,didn't want to hear him,didn't even want to know he existed.

Suddenly his door opened,voices shouted his name,and hands reached out to him. He opened his eyes,a little blurry from the tears and from shutting them too tight. He looked at his hands and feet,they were covered in cuts and bruises. His arms were taken,and he was pulled up.

And all was black.

* * *

"How is he,Komui?" Lavi asked,glancing from the sleeping boy to said scientist,"He's fine,Lavi,it's just a few cuts and bruises. But he can't return to his room as we're afraid he'll break anything else and hurt himself even more." Both of them stared at Allen,whose face,hands and feet were all bandaged. He looked tortured,even in his sleep. Lavi sighed in frustration.

"What's wrong with him Komui?I've seen his sleeping face before this-it was peaceful. But look at it now.." he trailed off,knowing the scientist got what he wanted to say. Komui placed a hand on Lavi's shoulder,"Maybe it's stress_._He_ has_ been going through a lot lately,with the whole fourteenth thing and General Cross going missing." Lavi absently nodded. Komui sighed,Lavi had always taken a liking to Allen,only in the brotherly sort of way though,everyone knew that.

"It's best we leave him be," Komui said before he removed his hand and walked to the door. Lavi nodded and followed suit after a few seconds.

Right after they walked out,Allen opened his eyes, tears streaking down his cheeks when he did. He wanted to tell them,but no one would believe him,they'd just think he was a freak,just like when he was younger. The one person who didn't think he was a freak is gone,and that person may have just used him for his own benefit.

He closed his eyes,a sad frown set on his lips.

No one will ever understand.

* * *

That day,when Kanda walked into the cafeteria,he didn't expect to hear hushed conversations instead of the usual annoying loud chatting. When he walked over to Jerry to order his meal,even the usually overly-cheerful chef looked somber. He got his food and sat at his usual secluded table.

When he was halfway through his meal,Lavi plopped himself across from him,completely uninvited. He was about to shoot a threat at him when Lavi stopped him.

"Kanda,did you hear what happened to Allen?"

Kanda raised an eyebrow,"I'm taking that as a no," Lavi said,sighing,"It's better you see for yourself," "Why would I care to see what happened to the Goddamned moya-" "Don't fuck with me,Kanda!I know you care for him,and I care for him too,right now he needs us to be there for him!" Kanda was shocked at the sudden outburst,Lavi was serious,he was only serious when he used 'Kanda' instead of 'Yu-chan'.

"Think about all the times he was there for us,and when he suffered for us when his Innocence got taken away!" his volume got louder,and nearly half of the cafeteria's occupants were staring at them. But Kanda didn't care about that right now.

"He lost his Innocence!?" Lavi laughed bitterly,so unlike the hearty laughs he always gave out.

"Yeah,a while ago, but you don't care now do you?" Lavi stood,"You know what?Fuck this,if Allen has no one else but me,then fine,make him hang on to someone who's not allowed to feel!" and he trudged out of the cafeteria,leaving a dumbfounded Kanda.

As much as he kept saying he didn't care for the beansprout,Lavi was right,deep down,he did care,a lot more than he should. But he couldn't,so he set up a barrier and made sure the beansprout hated him.

But after hearing Lavi's rant,that barrier seemed to have lifted slightly,as he felt the need to know of Allens 'losing his Innocence' and the current problem.

That evening,he decided to go visit him.

* * *

_Uhm,I kind of like how it turned out xD Sorry if it seems sucky to you all though..Oh God,after I edited this I realized how magically short it was -cries-_

_Reviews please! It'll make me more motivated to write!Any suggestions and constructive criticisms will be greatly appreciated!But please,be gentle,I just started writing._

_Mindless flames will be used to burn Leverrier to ashes._

-ShiraiHime


	2. He's Different From The Others

**Yuruginai Shinrai**

By ShiraiHime

Disclaimer: If I owned it, it wouldn't be half as awesome as it is now.

_A/N:Oh my God OAO Twelve reviews, five favorites and fifteen alerts for a chapter!? *tears of joy* Thank you all so much!!_

_Map Writers__, I apologize for telling you that I'd edit the first chapter when I didn't-When I tried, I was clueless to what I would write! QAQ So I am just going to continue on with chapter 2..I'm sorry!!_

_Thank you all for putting up with me!!_

_**Chapter 2 : He's Different From The Others **_

Allen opened his eyes, only to be met with a clean white ceiling that definitely wasn't part of his room. Usually it'd be too dark to even see the ceiling, due to the thick curtains that would always be drawn before he went to bed. He turned his head sideways to get a better look at the room.

He could tell he was in the infirmary, the simple furniture and the necessary medical items spoke for themselves. But he's never been in one of the private infirmary rooms before, he'd always be put on a bed along with all his other comrades in one room big enough to fit them all.

Memories slowly flooded back to him as he raised his cursed arm over his eyes. That's right, he finally he broke some mirrors, so what?He didn't care, he could pay them off easily with his experience with Cross and his ridiculous amount of debts. But what really mattered was that it felt good, that he managed to take out some of that frustration on something, even if he did hurt himself when he did. He lifted his cursed arm a little from his eyes and brought his right arm up to stare at it. It was covered in bandages, band-aids and some small stitches. He frowned as he poked one of the stitches, maybe he went a little over the edge..

He sighed as he dropped both arms down onto the bed. He sat himself up, surveying the room for a bit until he heard a rather loud rumble coming from his stomach. He blushed at the volume and swung his legs off the bed, proceeding to the door.

He ignored the nurses who told him to stay in his room and continued walking straight out. When he got out, however, he had to make a choice, and a wise one at that.

Turn left, or right to go to the cafeteria?

When that question entered his brain, he knew that with his luck, he was going to get lost for sure. But he still wanted to try his luck, so he turned right, his thin slippers softly tapping against the floor.

As he hummed, he made a whole list of food he'd ask Jerry to make once he got there.

That is, if he ever gets there.

* * *

Kanda sighed in frustration. He didn't do it. After all that drama with Lavi and his own supposedly strong determination to visit the beansprout, he didn't go. He angrily stabbed his soba with his chopsticks, taking his frustration out on his poor food.

He didn't know why he couldn't do it, he just stood outside the beansprouts' door for hours, contemplating whether or not to go in. He cursed, he could handle Akuma, why is he so cowardly as to not visit the beansprout when he resolved to do so?This had been on his mind the whole morning, and it annoyed him to no end.

He huffed, then stood, not having the mood to finish his half-eaten soba. He left the cafeteria, deciding to go back to his room to take a nap.

Now don't get him wrong, he wasn't lazy or anything, he just didn't have anything to do. Sure, he'd go train, but he just wasn't in the mood for it. There wasn't any interesting books to read in the library either, the last time he checked. And besides, that idiot rabbit practically _lived _there, which immediately put him off. So taking a nap was the best he could do to pass the time.

As he turned a corner to the hallway to which his room resided in, he thought about the beansprout. Now that he thought about it, why should he waste a few hours sleeping when he could just go and visit the beansprout, just like how he resolved to do the day before?He thought this as he continued walking, and didn't notice a certain small white figure curled up on the floor. That is, until he tripped over it.

"Shit..What the _fuck_ was—" his sentence stopped dead in his tracks as he saw what he tripped over. Or rather, _who_ he tripped over.

Allen lifted his head up, expression depicting pain from being kicked. His expression changed from being in pain to surprised, and from being surprised to angry. He sat up.

"BaKanda!You should look where you're going!Do you know how much that hurt?!" he ranted, rubbing the side of which he was kicked, which then resulted in the older falling. Kanda scoffed,"It's your fault, beansprout. Who the hell lies on the floor and not expect to trip someone over!?What the fuck are you doing anyway?!" at this question, Allen blushed, he didn't want to tell Kanda of all people that he got lost on his way to the cafeteria!Also the fact that he sort of collapsed from being hungry..No, his pride wouldn't allow it!

But apparently his stomach did, as it grumbled loudly. Kanda gave Allen a slightly disgusted look while Allen just blushed even more. The older sighed loudly and stood, shoving his hand in Allens face, earning a rather cute squeak.

_'Wait, cute?!Since when-gah, I'll figure this out later.'_

Allen looked up at him, his innocent rain-coloured eyes questioning the other. Kanda tch-ed, and being the impatient person he is, grabbed the youngers' thin wrist and brought him up, walking straight in the other direction.

"Kanda?!Where are you taking me-" "That stomach of yours needs to be filled doesn't it?Use your brain for once, bean."

Allen was shocked, to say the least, at Kanda's sudden act of kindness. As he was dragged past various hallways, his mind wandered.

Lavi, Lenalee, Komui, Krory, even Miranda treats him differently now. There was more sympathy in their eyes and more pity in their gazes. He didn't like it, he didn't like the fact that after what happened with the fourteenth, everyone changes when he's around them. Before, there was more sincerity, more warmth, more..friendliness. But all there is now is pity and the occasional fear.

But Kanda was different. Despite him being accused of being a Noah, Kanda still banters with him, still insults him, and still calls him by that nickname. And it made Allen feel very, very happy, that Kanda still considers him the same person he was when they first met.

He smiled warmly at the larger hand that was still gripping onto his wrist.A small tinge of pink bloomed onto his cheeks.

"It's Allen, BaKanda."

* * *

_Gyaahhh, it's doooneee!!8DD Just a light chapter this time xD I'm not very sure what's going to happen next chapter, but meh. 8D_

_I'm quite pleased at how this turned out OwO All my writer juices are worn out haha =w=; But it probably epic sucked to all of you haha xD  
_

_Reviews please!They make me oh so very happy, and a happy writer means more chapters coming your way!8D –punched-_

_Leverrier must die._


	3. An Unexpected Newcomer

**Yuruginai Shinrai**

By ShiraiHime

Disclaimer: This fic sucks as it is, what makes you think I can make a manga as awesome as D. Gray-Man?

_A/N: Oh my God, I am so sorry for the long delay!! QAQ I didn't know how the rest of the story would go and I had to think a lot about it..And here it is.  
_

_Btw, this chapter introduces an OC of mine-Ein. She helps make the Yullen love grow! And she's freaking fun to write (probably because I designed her personality according to mine lol )Oh, and I think I'll change the category to Humor and Romance, because uh, I really can't think of anything angsty to write for this story, no matter how much I love my angst. So, after Ein gets introduced, there will be a mix of humor chapters and if I get the inspiration, angst chapters. Wait you know what? I'll just leave that as it is. Because chances are, the humor will still have some angst to the chapters =w=  
_

_Thank you for the support!_

_**Chapter 3: An Unexpected Newcomer**_

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* * *

  
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"Allen!"

Said boy turned his head sideways, mouth full of food. He was currently sitting in the cafeteria, happily eating his fill (which was enough to feed an army, by the way) with-surprisingly- Kanda Yu sitting across from him, doing nothing but watching the boy eat with a slightly disgusted expression.

Allen swallowed, "Yeah?" Reever shifted his arms a little, looking uncomfortable carrying the insane amount of papers currently in his hands. "Komui wants you in the lab-" Allen gave him the most horrified expression he could make, "……You look hilarious. Anyway, it's not for your arm." Allen breathed a sigh of relief, then glared at Kanda when the older smirked and muttered an insult sounding like 'coward'.

"So what is it?" Reever dumped the stack of papers on the table, most probably unable to carry them anymore. "Komui said something about a new exorcist. I didn't get any more than that, but I'm guessing it's either you have two have to go fetch him or we need Allen to use the Ark."

Allen nodded, then noticed something in Reevers' explanation, "Wait…" Apparently Kanda noticed too, looking at his expression.

"The two of us?!"

* * *

"Komui, I'm in the room, standing by." Allen spoke, glad that his transmitter was an earring so that his hands were free. He sat on the piano seat, fingers tracing the keys.

Kanda stood beside him, "I always knew you were girly beansprout, but to actually wear an earring is just.." Allen pouted angrily at the older, which almost made Kanda laugh. _Almost_. "It's not like I wanted it to be an earring! And it's not even a real one- it just clips on!" He brushed his hair behind his ear, showing that it was indeed only clipped on. He continued glaring at Kanda, still kind of miffed that he was being compared to a girl by none other than a guy with girly hair!

Kanda stared at it. Not at the earring, but Allen's ear itself. It was weird that he was staring at that of all things, he knew, but…It just looked so… _bitable_. He mentally slapped himself, just what the _fuck _was he thinking!?

"……Kanda? You okay?" Allen asked, anger subsiding, though his pout still residing on his lips. Kanda snapped out of his reverie, he couldn't tell the beansprout what he was thinking, it'd be too awkward. He shook his head, "It's nothing, beansprout. I'm just thinking of how flashy your earring is. Seriously, you had no say in the design?" Allen glared, "Meanie!" an added pout,"….Out of all the insults, you chose that one? Very mature beansprout, _very_ mature."

Allen was about to retort back at him when Komui spoke, _"You two sound like an old married couple, seriously."_ Allen blushed and pouted, knowing fully well that Komui couldn't see it. Kanda just 'tch'-ed and looked away, hiding the small tint of pink creeping up to his cheeks .

Silence ensued, and slowly both of their blushes were residing. Kanda sat himself next to Allen, huffing impatiently. Allen turned to look at the older of the two, curiosity in his big, childish eyes.

"Kanda.. Why did Komui make you come in here with me?"

Kanda glanced at the beansprout for a while, then closed his eyes and wrapped his arms against his chest. When he opened them, he looked straight at Allen, who looked slightly uncomfortable with the gaze pointed directly at him.

"Kanda…?" "I'm the new monitor." Allen just looked even more confused, "But I thought it was Link…" Kanda nodded, then spoke, "Apparently Komui managed to convince them to change the monitor to someone you knew, and for some reason I was the one they chose." He scowled, hiding the small bubble of happiness in his heart. He shouldn't feel like this, the kid was being monitored for pete's sake! He was accused of being a traitor, yet here he is, the new monitor, supposedly someone Allen thought was a friend, quietly happy that he was chosen to be said monitor. How screwed up can he be? The kid shouldn't even be monitored in the first place!

Allen smiled gently, a hint of sadness in it, "Komui's such a caring person…Though he can be a little eccentric at times," he laughed, trying to lighten the mood. Kanda grunted and looked down onto the piano keys.

As if right on cue, Komui reported, "Allen-kun, they're ready, can you make a door for them?" Allen immediately held the shell of his ear, "Yeah, sure thing." He replied. Kanda stood to give Allen space to play, quietly wanting to hear the melody that brought him back to life again, the melody that stupid, naïve beansprout played. He leaned against one of the walls, arms crossed and a scowl set on his lips.

Allen began playing, swaying slightly to the music. Kanda noted that Allens' eyes were closed, his pale pink lips set in a straight line. He slapped himself, for real this time, for staring at the beansprout yet again. Seriously, what was wrong with him lately?

Fortunately, Allen was too deep in his playing to notice Kanda slapping himself. A door appeared on the wall next to Kanda (which scared the living shit out of him, though he didn't show) and Allen stopped playing, sighing in content. Kanda raised an eyebrow, Allen seemed to like playing the piano in the Ark, even if it was the source of all his current problems. It was kind of…..sweet, in a sense.

The door opened, and out walked a small girl, much to the duo's surprise. She looked a little younger than Allen, and was Asian, her features gave that away. She had short, straight black hair which came down a little below her chin. Her eyes were blood red, a very peculiar colour, yet it seemed to suit her most. She wore a casual white dress shirt and black slacks, a black turtleneck on the inside, and carried a suitcase and a backpack.

Kanda blanched, he knew who she was. Allen glared at him, mouthing 'you're being rude' to him but kept being ignored.

"Nice to meet you, my name is Ein Kanda, how do you do?" and she smiled, and the two knew what kind of smile it was, to their horror.

It was the kind of smile Lavi gave whenever he was up to something.

Not good.

* * *

_Okay, I know this chapter really sucks, heck, I think every chapter sucks but I was finally happy with the last product so screw you all! =w= I'm not very sure about whether this chapter is awkward/too fast…so review and tell me so I can try to make the next chapter better! (I said _try_, so please don't kill me if it's just as retarded as this chapter! I'm gonna try, people! __**TRY**__! )_

_Next chapter currently in progress nyahaha, btw, I hope you guys read the Authors Note at the top xD I said most of the important stuff there…I'm not very smart am I? xD *smacked across the head* _

_Thank you so much for all the alerts, favorites and reviews! I love them all! *throws cookies at you all*_

_Reviews are as awesome as Yullen itself, flames are as awesome as Leverrier. CLICK THE BUTTON WITH THE GREEN WORDS PEOPLE! 8D GREEN MEANS GO!!  
_


	4. Explanations

**Yuruginai Shinrai **

By ShiraiHime

Disclaimer: The characteristics of Hoshino may match some of mine, but no, I DO NOT OWN IT. Now let me wallow in my self pity in a little corner of doom. *cries*

A/N: Oh God, you guys have no idea how shocked I was to see REVIEWS in my inbox! And they were POSITIVE!! Holy crap, do you KNOW how happy they made me!? To thank you all, here' s chapter 4, though I doubt it'd be any good haha…*scratches head* Btw I made up Kanda and Ein's past and how they got the curse, I haven't read the reverse novels yet. 

_Hajimemashou!_

_**Chapter 4: Explanations **_

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The next day.

Allen sat in the cafeteria, wolfing down his food as usual. Lavi sat across from him, watching in amusement at how fast Allen cold eat everything. Just as he swallowed, he saw from the corner of his eye that someone was at the edge of their table. His eyes traveled up to said person and saw..

"'sup guys? Can I sit here?" Ein asked. She wore her new exorcist uniform, and since it was the latest black and red one, she was easily pleased with it. The design was identical to Allens', plain with black pants of the same design. Lavi nodded eagerly, "Sure! You're the new exorcist right? Wow you're young!" She sat herself down beside Lavi, seeing as there was no space to put her tray if she sat next to Allen. She tilted her head to the side, "Young? I'm a year younger than him." And she pointed to Allen, who was piling the plates on top of each other to give back to Jerry. Lavi blanched, then started laughing.

"Oh my God..! Allen, were you _that _shota when you were fourteen? Damn, I wish I'd seen that! You'd look so cute! Not that I'm saying you're not cute now but…Phffft." Allen huffed, "I wasn't shota at all! Stop doing that, Lavi. I'm a guy too you know." Lavi let out another 'phfft' , making Allen a little annoyed. "You're too cute to be a guy Allen. And I've seen your bare legs before-they're freaking awesome! And I mean feminine awesome!" Ein suddenly looked very interested in the conversation. "Are you serious? You've seen his legs? How?"

"Tch. "

The three of them froze. Only one person in the Order made a sound like that. Allens' eyes slowly travelled up to Kanda, who stood with a tray of his own in his hands. He shivered when Kanda's ever present glare intensified.

Now, as you all know, Allen was never scared of Kandas' glares. So this is quite the surprise now isn't it? Yes, well, there's a reason behind it. As you all know from the last chapter, Kanda and Allen help get Ein to the Order via Ark.

If you look back, Ein introduced herself as 'Ein _Kanda_'. No, she _isn't _married to him, she is, in fact, his younger sister. His supposedly _dead _younger sister.

Let's get back to the story shall we?

Kanda sat himself down next to Ein, who 'eep'-ed and scooted away to give him space. He glared at the girl, "You better spit out an explanation, Ein." Ein smiled nervously, "O-Of course, _aniki_.." she watched as her brother broke his chopsticks apart and muttered a silent 'itadakimasu' and started eating. She bit her lip and stared at her own food.

They ordered the same thing.

"Yu-_ani_.." she began, her chopsticks already broken apart, poised to start eating. She looked at the other two occupants, wondering whether or not to tell her brother in front of them.

"The beansprout's fine, he can keep a secret. Not the rabbit though, he can't keep shit." Kanda said as he drank a bit of his green tea. Eins' eyes widened a little, then went back to normal. Lavi pouted, while Allen looked quite happy. She smiled to herself. She'd play around with that a little later, now she had something to tell.

"Usa-usa, can you please go…somewhere else?" Lavi gave her a look, "Usa-usa?!" "It's a cute name don't you think? So anyway, can you.." Kanda stopped eating and glared at the three, irritation clearly showing in his features. "Rabbit. **Go**." Lavi 'eep'-ed, stood up and left. After making sure he was gone, Kanda shifted his glare to Ein. "You, spit it out."

Ein frowned, then asked, "Can I finish my food first? Also, can we move somewhere else? Like, someplace quiet and won't have anyone interrupting or eavesdropping." Kanda growled, "Whatever, eat fast. We go to the beansprouts' room. " "Since when have I agreed-" Kanda glared at Allen, pure impatience and frustration in his eyes. Allen went silent for a few seconds and nodded.

"My room it is."

* * *

Kanda sat himself on the bed, crossing his arms and scowling. Ein sat in front of him, on the floor. Allen sat next to Ein. Kanda growled.

"I didn't come to the beansprouts' room to just sit here, Ein. So spit it out and tell me what I want to know. Starting with why you're alive." Ein smiled weakly, "Straight to the point as ever, Yu-_ani_.." She breathed in, then out. Then she spoke.

"_Aniki….What…What is that?"_

_A four-year old Ein watched in fright as the monsters drew closer. She stepped back, step by step, until she finally tripped over backwards onto the grass. Beside her was her eight-year old older brother, who didn't show as much emotion as she did, but still had that small tint of fright in his eyes._

"_What is all the ruckus-" was all that was heard by the children before they saw their own parents turn to dust before their very eyes. Kanda held his sister close while big fat tears fell from her pretty sapphire eyes, much like his own. He stared dead straight at the monsters._

"_What do you want?" he asked, no trace of fear evident in his voice._

_The monsters cackled, "What do we want? We want your Innocence, little boy! Now hand it over or we'll blow your little sister to tiny little pieces, just like your mommy and daddy!" Just after they had said that, one of them grabbed his sister from his hands, lifting her into the air._

"_Yu-ani! H-Help me! It's so high..!" the monster holding her laughed evilly, and held her over the gardens pond. Kanda instantly reacted._

"_Don't drop her in there!" he shouted, for he knew that his sister didn't know how to swim, and with how deep and wide their pond was, she would surely drown. _

"_Then give us the Innocence, boy!"_

_He growled, "I don't know what Innocence is! Tell me what it is and I'll bring it to you! Just leave my sister alone, you monsters!" The monsters laughed again, "Monsters? We're worse than mere monsters! We're Akuma!" _

"_And you can't boss us around! We can do whatever the Hell we want!" _

"_Such as…"_

_Kanda watched in horror as the hand holding his sister was released, sending her diving down into the deep, dark pond. He screamed._

"_**EIN!!"**_

_Ein opened her eyes, and looked around. It was pitch black. She let out a sigh, but was shocked when she saw bubbled float out of her mouth. She panicked, but then found that the 'water' didn't seem to affect her, and she could breathe normally. _

_She looked at her hands and feet. Her whole body was completely visible, but everything else was pitch black, as if it was the middle of the night but with no moon. No light._

_Suddenly something shined, quite a distance away from her. She was about to attempt to move closer to it before it suddenly appeared before her. She stared at it, mesmerized at its beauty._

_It was a lotus. A white lotus, with faint tinges of pink at the end of each petal .She reached out to touch it, but a voice stopped her._

'_Don't touch it. You'll only be pulled deeper into this dark abyss.'_

_She looked around her and saw a figure of a girl, about the same age as she. The girl padded up to her, and Ein got to have a better look at her._

_She was pretty. And she looked almost like an angel, with her flowing white hair, pale skin and light coloured eyes. She wore a white sundress, flowing around her legs as she walked barefoot. The girl cocked her head the one side._

'_Do you know who I am?'_

_Ein shook her head. The girl smiled._

'_I am the witch of this pond. Ever wonder why the water in the pond always seems so dark even though the water is clean? Well, that's because of me.' Ein gave her a confused look, "But you don't look like a witch.." she laughed bitterly._

'_My dear, you haven't seen that side of me yet. Believe me, you wouldn't want to see it.' Ein shivered at the sudden change of the atmosphere. _

'_If I'm not mistaken, your older brother is up there fighting for his life.' Ein instantly glanced at the surface, worry evident in her childish eyes. 'He would no doubt die if he were to continue.' Ein scrunched her face up, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall._

'_There is, however, a way to help him.'_

_Ein looked at her, hope shining in her eyes, "Really? What is it? Tell me, please!" she begged. The girl placed a finger to her lips, 'This ritual involves you as well, are you sure you would want to share the pain with your brother?' Ein nodded, without a second's hesitation._

"_Yes!"_

_The girl smirked eerily, and raised a hand to Ein's heart. The white lotus, still floating, grew dark roots and wrapped them around the girls outstretched arm, getting closer and closer to Ein. The girl laughed hysterically before a sadistic smile cast itself on her pale lips._

'_You're such a fool.'_

_

* * *

_

Silence ensued them. Kanda stared at his hands, taking everything in. Allen looked at him worriedly, wanting to pat him on the shoulder in comfort but too scared to do so. Ein was about to speak when Kanda beat her to it.

"So that's why I have this curse?" he asked, no emotion showing in his tone. Ein closed her mouth and nodded, "Yes. But wait, I haven't finished yet. There's more you have to know." Kanda looked up at her expectantly.

"Go on.

* * *

_The next second, the lotuses dark roots wrapped around her neck. At first, they was merely holding it, but then after a while they started holding her neck tighter, making it feel very uncomfortable. The girl merely smiled._

'_Now is probably the right time to tell you the consequences of this deal. Getting your brother to live through that battle isn't exactly an easy job you know?' she continued smiling, a smile Ein at first thought was friendly, but now found it…quite cruel._

_Unable to say anything due to the roots, Ein just nodded, tears clinging to the edge of her eyes from the pressure. _

'_Your brother up there will get a mark on him' she began, 'And it will continue to heal his wounds, no matter how small or how big.' She stared in disgust at Eins' hopeful expression. She hated it. 'However, something like that must have some sort of price, no?'_

_Eins' expression of hope died._

_The girl smirked, 'Much better. Now you see, your brother has a special power, and that will make him fight a war in the future.' She stopped to observe Eins' eyes, which merely stared blankly back at her. She scoffed, then continued._

'_Since he will fight a war, this mark will be very useful to him. Healing him when he gets hurt and injured. However, the more he gets hurt, the more his lifespan gets shortened.' She smiled in delight at Eins' horror, 'You, since you're the one that initiated this deal, will be involved in this curse as well. You will have the same special power your brother has, and you will join him as well in the oncoming war. You won't have the same curse, however, because I think simply watching your brother heal and die is a curse as it is, is it not?' Ein glared at her, tears threatening to fall from her eyes._

'_Now, I'm not saying you're obliged to make this deal. Of course, unless you can stand the sight of your beloved older brother dying before he can live his life out in the real world.' Ein bit her lip. She didn't want that, but she didn't want her brother to grow up, have hopes of the future, only to die earlier than expected._

_The girl sighed in irritation, 'You humans take so long to make a decision! Okay fine, here's something to sweeten the deal, since I'm feeling generous today.' Ein perked up, and the girl made the roots loosen around her neck. _

'_There will be a way to break the curse. I will tell you how, but your brother has to figure it out on his own. If you tell him how to break it, he will die.' Ein kept silent, then looked up at her, resolve in her big childish eyes._

"_I accept!"_

_

* * *

_

The room was silent once again. Ein scratched her head a bit and sighed, "That's pretty much it, and oh," she snapped her fingers, suddenly remembering something. "When I was taken back to the surface, there was a guy there, he's the one that took me in and trained me to become an exorcist."

Allen looked up, curious to know who that guy was, it was most probably a general. "Do you know the guys name?" he asked, then another question came to him, "Ah, sorry, what do you use for your Innocence?" Ein smiled at him, seeming to have taken a liking to him.

"I use a katana, like Yu here, and a gun." Kanda looked at her, "A gun? With a katana? Where did you get the—" Ein held a hand up, earning an annoyed 'tch' in return. "The guy that took me in used a gun himself, and one of the Innocences he was carrying happened to be accommodated to me. And one of the guns he had lying around was linked to me, along with the katana so.." Allen nodded, processing the information. So she was an equipment type huh..Wait, a guy using a gun? He froze.

"E-Ein-san-" Ein pouted , "Just Ein is fine! Adding a _–san_ to it makes me sound old!" Kanda glared at her, feeling angry for some reason or other. Ein noticed this but kept quiet about it, putting it aside for later to investigate. "So anyway, what is it?"

Allen paled more and more, making the siblings worried, though the older didn't show as much emotion as the younger.

"That guy that took you in…" Ein clapped her hands suddenly remembering the other question Allen asked her.

"Ah! Sorry! I forgot about that question haha…" she scratched her head sheepishly then spoke, "His name..it's Cross Marian. Why do you ask-"

Allen fainted.

* * *

Ein and Kanda sat in the infirmary, both sitting on either side of a bed where Allen lay. Ein chuckled, "I think I know why he fainted.." Kanda raised an eyebrow questioningly at her and she explained, "Cross always told me about his past disciple, and about how stupid and useless he was. Oh, and also about how the only thing he was good at was playing poker to pay off his debts." She laughed, "You should see the debts he has! They're just ridiculous!"Kanda stared at her as she laughed. Her laughter slowly died down when she noticed. The two were silent, gazing at the sleeping boy in front of them. It was an awkward silence, until Ein broke it.

"You know, I really missed you, Yu-ani." She smiled, "It's been..what, ten years? Ten years since then." Her smile turned slightly sad, she was prepared for her brother to coldly reject her for tricking him into thinking she was dead, but even so, she hoped that it wouldn't happen. She looked at Kanda, her blood red eyes staring into Kandas' sapphire ones. She laughed bitterly on the inside, the curse made her eyes turn red, the constant reminder of her brothers curse, and only when her brothers curse was broken would they turn back to normal.

Kanda gazed at her for a while, then, out of the blue, leaned over to ruffle her hair, like how older siblings would normally do. Ein didn't expect this, but it made her smile brighten and she giggled a bit. Kanda smirked.

"Yeah, I missed you too."

* * *

_A/N: Ah, wow, this chapter is…longer than the others. OAo Holy crap._

_Aaah, sorry for the crappy chapter!! For those who didn't understand the Kanda siblings' curse due to my horrendous writing, here's the simplified version._

_Kanda, as you all know, has a curse that taps his life force to heal himself/ make his attacks stronger. Ein shares that curse, but it has nothing to do with her life force, her eyes only change to red (they were dark blue before, like Kandas' ) to give her the constant reminder of the curse, and she knows the secret to break Kanda's curse, but can't tell him. Basically her part of the curse is 'watching her brother die'. I'm a sadistic person, yeah?_

_So anyway, people who still have questions, feel free to ask._And btw, next chapter…if I write it how I want it, it's going to turn out..quite fun and Yullen-y. With the usual angst, of course. Kufufufu…

Reviews please? It makes me moar motivated to write moar! You flame me and I'll freaking rawr at you. RAWR.

Oh, and I wrote this chapter without my beta, Magical EC-chan, because she..got banned from the com haha. I know the feeling EC-chan, I know the feeling. I sneak on the com sometimes too haha! *is sneaking onto the com right now for no particular reason* 

Thank you for putting up with my incompetence as an amateur writer! *bows* 


	5. Little Signs and Hints

**Yuruginai Shinrai**

By ShiraiHime

Disclaimer: Whoever thinks I own D. Gray- Man and is still reading this fic is probably a retard. No offense to the actual disabled btw.

A/N: Aaah, last chapter was shit. Here's chapter 5 people! I'm updating a lot now aren't I? Hahaha… 

No Allen angst in this one, just…some Yullen haha xD

Nn, my sweet little ototou-chan gave me the link to this awesome song~~ It's Velonica by Aqua Timez, btw, go listen to it! Or I'll unleash my older-brother complex horrors on you! 8D Btw our sibling relationship is fictional, to those who are wondering whether or not I'm a girl lol. 

Once again, thank you!!! Q[]Q

_**Chapter 5: Little Signs & Hints**_

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When Allen opened his eyes, he was met with a white ceiling, which was impossible to be in his room. His room was always dark, due to the weird-ass things crowding it and the only source of light being his window, which really didn't help much. He looked around, spotting nurses bustling around helping injured exorcists. _'Oh,_' he yawned, '_That's right, I fainted, then Kanda and Ein probably took me here..Why did I faint again..?_' He scrunched his face in thought, trying to push the sleepiness away to try to remember. When he did, however, he paled.

'_Ein,_' he sat up, panic evident on his features, _'Shishou…I really hope you didn't do anything immoral to her!_' his panic stopped when he caught sight of two figures sitting on one side of his bed, the chairs looking as if one of them got dragged there. His eyes travelled up to the two, and when he found who they were, he smiled fondly.

Kanda and Ein were sleeping, side-by-side. Kanda had his trademark scowl set on his features, even as he slept, though it looked more relaxed. Ein breathed in and out evenly, her lips slightly parted. Both of them were leaning against the wall and at the same time, against each other. Allen smiled even more.

He got out of the bed, putting on his boots that were on the floor next to it. He didn't want to inconvenience anyone by staying here when there are actual injured people in the premises. He gazed at the Kanda siblings. They looked peaceful, and he really didn't want to wake them up, but they can't use the bed until the place is completely vacant. He sighed and walked around to bed to wake the two up.

He decided to wake Kanda up first, just in case Kanda has the same brother-complex as Komui and would misunderstand when he tried to wake Ein up first. He chuckled, that'd be pretty funny, though he rather liked his life, no matter how unfortunate it is. He leaned forward and put a hand to Kanda's shoulder, shaking him.

"Kanda, wake up, we need to get out of here." No response. He twitched, "Kanda, I'm not joking with you, get _up._" Same thing. He growled, leaning closer, until he could feel Kanda's even breathing on his lips, but he was too annoyed to notice.

"Aren't you supposed to be able to be aware of your surroundings even in your sleep or something? Jeez.." he sighed. He shook Kanda's shoulders again, "Wake _up_. Come on!" after a bit of violent shaking, however, the older still did not wake up. Allen didn't give up, and continued shaking him, until he shook the other too much and found himself falling backwards onto the bed with the now awakened Japanese above him.

"Beansprout..? What.." Kanda's eyes widened when he found that the position that they were in looked quite…inappropriate. Before he could react, however, the two of them heard a cough, coming from behind Kanda.

Ein grinned, "Doing something naughty while I'm sleeping now are we?" Kanda growled and instantly jumped off the bed-and off of Allen- an angry flush on his face. He glared.

"Beansprout, what the _hell _do you think you're doing?!" Allen, not understanding what the two were so worked up about, tilted his head to the side questioningly. "I was trying to wake you up, but you wouldn't, so I just shook you more and more, then suddenly you fell on me and we ended up on the bed." Kanda and Ein stared at him, not actually believing what they had just heard.

'_How can someone raised by_ Cross _be_ this _naïve and innocent?!'_

Allen stood, "Well, I don't know what you two are so worked up about, but we need to get out of here; we're taking up unnecessary space." Ein looked around, then nodded in agreement while Kanda just grunted. After convincing the Head Nurse that Allen was fine, the trio exited the infirmary.

Ein yawned, putting her arms behind her head casually, "So now what?" she asked, boredom laced in her tone. Allen put a finger to his lips, thinking as they walked. Kanda simply stared at Allen while he continued that thinking pose, not noticing Kanda's gaze. Those lips looked so goddamned soft! It's unreal for a guy to have those! Unreal I tell you!

"Ah!" Allen said suddenly, stopping. When Allen uttered that one syllable, Kanda instantly looked forward, not wanting the younger to notice that he'd been staring at him, yet again. He was really starting to wonder whether there was something wrong with him..

"I have to go to the cafeteria, I was assigned to do some work," Ein perked up at this, " I wanna follow! And I bet Yu-ani wants to follow too!" Kanda glared at Ein for saying that. Allen paled, the reason, no one knows. Not yet. He shook his head vigorously, almost like how a small child would when they refused to eat their vegetables.

"N-No! I-I was specifically told to do it alone! S-So.." he nervously grinned at the two, walking backwards and swaying slightly. Sweat started to form on his pale skin, making him look even more nervous. Then, without warning, he turned sharply and ran in the other direction.

The siblings stared, dumbfounded. Then after a few minutes, Ein sighed, "Well, I'll find out about that later. I'm too lazy to think about that right now." She yawned, then turned to face her brother, "Ne, Yu-ani, I'm going back to my room okay? I have some stuff to unpack..And oh, someone from the China Branch gave me a package to give to Allen-chan, gotta give that to him next time I see him.." she mumbled. Kanda gave her an amused smirk.

"Allen-_chan_? Ein, I know that he looks like a girl and everything, but that's a blow to a mans pride." Ein chuckled, "But he's so cute! It's hard not to give him that suffix! I bet you think he's cute too, my dear _aniki!_" Kanda's smirk disappeared, "I do not." Ein stuck her tongue out, a smirk of her own forming. "Do too! I know you like him, _aniki_. It's pretty obvious with how you always seem to stare at him, even if I've only been here in a short period of time." Her smirk widened.

Kanda growled, "So I stare at him a bit, so what? It doesn't mean I like him. He's just an annoying beansprout who can't take care of himself and always relies on others to protect him." Ein's smirk disappeared, replaced with a frown. "_Aniki_, don't you know about what happened to his Innocence? I have the feeling you don't, since what he did sounded far from 'relying on others to protect him'." She quoted. Kanda's eyes widened considerably. Isn't this what he's been wanting to know? About how Allen lost his Innocence and got it back?

"No…I don't know what happened to him. Apparently I'm the only one who doesn't know." He was about to request for her to explain to him what happened when Ein glared at him, "That's because no one bothers to tell you, _aniki_, because that barrier of yours makes others feel that you really don't care whether or not they die!" Kanda raised an eyebrow, that was really sudden. And how does she know all this, after such a short reunion after ten years?

"I know because while I was training with Cross, he often got messages from Komui asking him to come back, and usually he wouldn't answer them, so I would. And I got kind of curious, what was my brother like, after all those years. Then Komui filled me in, including that first mission you had with Allen." She replied. "Yu, stop lying to yourself, you care for Allen, maybe some of the others too, but from what I can see, you care for Allen the most." Kanda was about to throw a retort at her when she stopped him with a hand.

"I don't want to hear it. Whatever it is, I hope you think this through. But first, I want you to hear of what Allen did to get his Innocence back, and how desperate he was to return to his comrades on the battlefield." She smiled slightly, "Though, this is what the people of the China Branch told me, so I'm not sure if some parts are wrong."

And so she started the story.

* * *

Kanda sighed, flopping onto his bed. He put an arm over his eyes, eyebrows furrowed. So many things flowed through his head, the information he finally got of Allen, the weird feelings he felt for said boy…He grumbled. Why the hell is he even caring for the beansprout? He isn't supposed to care!

He closed his eyes, deciding to take a short nap. Just when he did, however, a knock sounded from his door. He growled, taking his time getting up and getting to the door. When he opened the door, he showed the most annoyed and angry expression he could make, but then he saw who it was.

His expression softened slightly, "Beansprout?" He mentally slapped himself, why did he do that?! This was all going to add up to a bad headache later, he just knew it.

Allen looked surprised, probably because he was expecting a rude 'what do you want?' or 'this better be good' but got an almost civil nickname addressed to him instead. "It's Allen." He corrected, then he let out a smile, it was kind of nice how Kanda wasn't that rude to him nowadays. And the fact that he only did that to him made him feel a weird yet pleasant, bubbly feeling in his chest.

Looking at Allen smiling at him wasn't a normal thing for Kanda. Sure, he's seen thousands of those smiles before, but this was the first time it was directed to him and him only. And for some strange reason, his heart started to beat faster at the mere sight of it. Also, why did his face feel so warm?

That headache sounded more and more real by the second.

He forced a growl, "So what is it beansprout? I didn't answer the door just to stand here and wait." He said, breaking the silence. Allen let out an 'ah!' and grinned sheepishly. "Uh, we're having a surprise welcome party for Ein, and you're supposed to bring her there..Being the closest one to her and everything." Allen turned to leave, "Ah, and this is an order from Komui, so no slacking off!" he teased, sticking a tongue out at the older. Kanda smirked, "Don't worrt, I'm not you, beansprout." "That's mean! I don't slack off!" Allen was already at the end of the hall when he said that. When he finally disappeared from Kanda's sight, Kanda's smirk turned into what people would call a smile.

He may not know what feelings he had for the beansprout, but what he did know is that coming in contact with the younger made him feel pleasant. He sighed. Then something occurred to him.

Was it…No it couldn't be..Could it?

* * *

Ein, no matter how much she could manage to scowl, curse, and glare as ferociously as Kanda, was completely different compared to her older brother.

"HOMG, you guys did all this for me?" she wore a huge grin on her face, obviously happy and not to mention touched that the people at the Order would do something as nice as throwing a welcome party for her. Completely opposite from what her brother would feel.

Lavi ran up to and glomped her, "Ein-chaan! Welcome to the Order!!" Ein laughed and hugged back, making Kanda twitch. "Oi, rabbit, get your hands off my _imouto_," Lavi pouted, not wanting to let go of his so-called best friends little sister. "But she's so cute and squishy! So unlike you Yu-chan!" "Don't call me by my first name Goddammit!!"

Ein laughed, but then suddenly came up with something. She whispered something to Lavi, who was still in his glomp position. Whatever she whispered made Lavi grin, and yes, that was _the_ grin. The grin universally known to mean he's up to something, and that was never something good. Not for everyone around him, anyway.

"My, this is interesting!" Lavi's grin widened, making the few people around him whimper and back away from him. Ein simply laughed at how he talked, "I know right? I never expected my _aniki_ to have such good tastes!" she gushed, "Ahnnn~This is like a love drama, don't you think, Lavi onii-chan?" Lavi was about to reply in the same way, except gayer, when Kanda raised Mugen, to _both_ of them (since they were still hugging).

"Just what the fuck are you talking about-" "Kanda!! Stop it, she's your own sister for God's sake!" Kanda instantly turned around, making Ein and Lavi giggle for some reason or other. Allen stood there, hands on his hips (his hips looked awesome by the way), a cute pout on his lips.

'_What the fuck-Why is my heart..beating _faster?_! Crap this sounds like one of those chest romance novels…' _he cursed. Allen walked closer to the him, since his sister and the rabbit went wandering off. The younger motioned for him to follow, and he did, much to the younger's surprise. Allen led him to an empty bench in the cafeteria, in the more secluded part of it. He sat, and patted the empty spot next to him, motioning for Kanda to sit.

As Kanda sat, a few things ran through his mind. Like his..crush for the beansprout. He didn't like the word, because it made him sound like those love-sick schoolgirls, but it was the only thing to describe his feeling for the younger. He was pretty sure he liked the beansprout, and not in the 'I'm-just-a-friend' way, yet he was also sure that it the feeling wasn't as strong as love. At least, not yet, but he doesn't know that, so let's leave that be shall we?

Allen smiled, making Kanda's heart pump faster. "You know, I thought you'd just drop your sister off here and go back to your room, like you always would. But I guess even you feel love for your own family, even if they seem annoying to you." He chuckled, a sad expression on his face, but it was gone by the time he looked back at Kanda. He was about to say something but Kanda beat him to it.

"What was with that expression?" Allen's eyes widened. He noticed? No, wait, that wasn't the right question, he..cared? Kanda glared at him, "Spit it out before I lose my patience and go back to my room beansprout," Allen inched closer to him, making Kanda jolt when their shoulders touched.

"What are you-" "Shut up. You're supposed to be my monitor right? You're supposed to be with me all the time. But you're not really doing your job are you?" Kanda's breath hitched in his throat. What Allen said really shocked him, it almost sounded like an invitation to spend time with him 24/7, like how couples would. And how close they were sitting didn't help.

Allen smiled again, "You know Kanda, I'm glad you're my monitor." Kanda's eyes widened a fraction when he said that. "Ever since what happened with the Ark and everything, everyone has been treating me differently." He explained, "But you," he smiled brighter, "You remained the same, the way you talked to me, how you'd always call me by that nickname..With you, nothing changed. And I like that."

Kanda remained silent, but let out a smirk. Inside, his heart was bursting with happiness. He felt happy that the beansprout deemed him different from the others in a good way, it made him feel a little bit closer to the beansprout.

They sat there, in that same position, on that bench in the most secluded part of the cafeteria, watching the others celebrate.

And Kanda was content.

He was one step closer.

* * *

_OH MY GOD WRITING FEELINGS IS SO GODDAMN HARD QAQ Whyy do they have to be so complicatedddd? _

_Ah, sorry for the totally weird chapter..I KNOW IT SUCKS OKAY!? IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE!! Hurgh, sorry, coughing fit. *turns around and coughs violently* Did you know that apparently, according to my bestie Kiku, that my coughs sound like violent gunshots on the phone? And since it's getting worse, more cats are dying. I'm sorry WWF. _

_Ah, and btw, about Allen not being affected by the sudden unraveling of Kanda's curse, well, let's leave that for later…I'll make that thing part of the story…somehow =A= *phails*_

_Besides that, the Yullen couple is another step forward to their goal! Which is being an actual couple btw lol. Ahh, I hate this chapter so much, I really hope I write the next one better.._

_I'm so sorry for being so incompetent!_

_Jikai, Yuruginai Shinrai, *imitates anime* Allen angst! And more Yullen! Wait for it people! Aware na Akuma ni, tamashii no kyuusai wo! *imitates Allen's motto-thingie in the anime preview*_

_LOL, see you next time! Leaving a review would make me write moar! But I bet you peeps don't want to read more of my horrible writing haha..*silence*_


	6. You'll Know Soon Enough

**Yuruginai Shinrai**

By ShiraiHime

Disclaimer: The fact that there's a disclaimer in here means it's not mine deshou?

A/N: Gyaaaahhh!! I'm so sorry for the uber long delay!! QAQ Had a test, then had my cousins wedding, then went to Sydney for the Easter Show with my friend over there, and then came my mom's eye problem… 

Currently writing this while listening to Again by YUI, Fullmetal Alchemist's second season OP. Have you guys seen the OP?! The animation is freaking AWESOME!! It's so smooth it kills! 

This chappie is a bit…Weird =.= My apologies for people who had high hopes for this chapter..Uhh, Allen-angst (look at the goddamn chapter title!!), and some of Kanda's OOC-ness..AND YULLEN TOO! HUAHAHAHAHA!! *slapped*

Thank you so much for your reviews, favorites and alerts! 

_**Chapter 6: You'll Know Soon Enough**_

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When Kanda awoke the next day, the last thing he expected was for his sister to burst through his front door. With her weird-ass red pajamas that had white rabbits printed on them. He twitched.

"What do you want? Unless you simply came to my room to show me your retarded-ass pajamas." Ein puffed out her cheeks and flicked the finger at him. "I came in here just to see whether you were up. Apparently," she gave him a disappointed look, "You don't have the same cute bed hair Allen does. Do you KNOW how cute he looks in his sleep? I'm surprised he's still a virgin, I mean seriously!" Kanda stared at her in disbelief.

"You went into his room when he slept!?" Ein's mouth formed an 'o' and laughed, "Ah, sorry, Usa-Usa and I snuck into his room last night. It was fun! I bet you want to see his face when he sleeps too, so we'll invite you next time we sneak into his room, okies?" Kanda 'tch'-ed, getting out of bed, "I don't want to see his stupid childish face when he sleeps. You two are so jobless." He stifled a yawn.

Ein clenched her teeth, stormed over to him and proceeded to stomp on his foot. Kanda winced slightly, it doesn't hurt that much, compared to the other injuries he's had in the past with Akuma and Noah, but hell, this person was _related_ to him, so it was only natural for her to be merciless when she continued stomping on his poor foot. He growled.

"What the fuck are you doing this for!?" Ein stopped, a triumphant smile on her lips, making Kanda smirk inwardly. They were so alike. "I'm simply doing this because of your weak-ass denial. I hate it." she dead-panned. Kanda raised an eyebrow, denial?

"About your love for the cute beansprout dumbass!" she huffed, hands on her hips. If Kanda was drinking a cup of tea, he'd spit the contents out in shock right about now. Too bad he doesn't like bringing food and drinks into his room. That'd be a sight.

"What the hell?! Ein, I know for a fact that over the years we've been apart you've grown to be about as spastic as the rabbit, but…" Kanda gave her a look that clearly spelled out 'what the fuck', earning a 'pshh' from her and a nonchalant wave of the hand.

"Please, I know all about it!" she declared, "It's so obvious that you two feel for each other, I just want to slap that face of yours for even daring to deny it!" Kanda stood, running his fingers through his undone hair. He might as well just give her what she wants and tell her that actually he did have a crush on the sprout. Though he didn't want to admit something so embarrassing, it was true, and this was his sister, he trusted her enough to keep it to herself.

Just when he was about to speak, Ein beat him to the punch.

"There's a high chance that he likes you back you know."

* * *

"Hey hey, aren't you supposed to monitor the moyashi or somethin'?" Ein inquired, walking alongside her brother, who was currently rubbing his temples. Back in his room, Ein gave Kanda a long lecture about how he should 'believe in the impossible' and how 'dreams do sometimes come true'. Oh, and also a bit of solid proof that Allen liked the older teen, which was pretty much the only thing Kanda listened to, to his dismay. He really didn't like this weird happy feeling he got when he thought about the beansprout, it made him feel like a girl. A lovesick, fangirling, schoolgirl. And it made him sick.

"I forgot." He simply answered, trying to seem nonchalant though deep down he felt guilty that he'd been neglecting his duties. It was the truth, with all those thoughts and foreign feelings raging through him, it wasn't hard for him to forget his new added job, even if it was to watch over the person he liked.

Ein scoffed, "But it's **ALLEN**! _Aniki_, do you _know_ how many people would DIE for this new job of yours!?" Kanda raised an eyebrow, "Think about it! He's adorable, he's sweet, he's selfless, and he's sexy too! Not to mention a real gentleman! He's the ideal boyfriend Yu-ani, everyone wants him!" after hearing this, Kanda couldn't help but let out a low growl. He didn't realize that everyone around him was competing over Allen's heart. Now that he thought about it, it's really easy to love him, had he been a normal person who's familiar with their feelings.

"See? This is why you have to take action Yu! He can easily slip away from you if you don't! And you have such a good advantage too-it'd be a waste to not use it, no?" she paused to snap her fingers, remembering something, "I bet Allen's last monitor liked him. Now, if there was a chance that he'd come back and retake his position as Allen's monitor, he'll rape him for sure!" Had Kanda been a normal person, he'd have gaped at the girl in front of him he called his sister, for having said something as ridiculous as that. But this is Kanda we're talking about, so all he did was furrow his eyebrows at her.

"That two-dot can't feel shit." Ein raised an eyebrow, "Two-dot? Wait, does he have blonde hair? And like, a really weird straight cut fringe? And a braid?" Kanda raised an eyebrow, surprised that Ein knew this much, "You know him?" he asked, seeing Ein stop walking. She ruffled her hair in frustration, then after a while, she looked up at him, a trademark Kanda-scowl on her maturing features.

"Like Hell I know him! He and that guy with the weird moustache kept chasing after me and Cross. Back when I was still training." She explained, continuing their walk to the cafeteria. "If it weren't for Cross's Innocence, I would've been dragged here way earlier, when I wasn't ready." She clenched her teeth, "That two-dot..he almost caught us. And when he was calling out for us..he said something about Cross being an accomplice with the Noah. I almost left Maria's seal to punch him." She scowled again, folding her arms.

They stayed silent as they entered the cafeteria, full with people eating and talking, some laughing and crying. Kanda suddenly had a flash of when Allen first came to the Order, having enough guts to stop him from strangling that finder he found rather annoying. He inwardly smirked at the thought; he still remembered how Allen's hand was holding onto his, even after he'd let go of the finder.

Ein bounced to the counter, her past mood forgotten, "Je~rry!!" she sang, the (supposedly) gay chef instantly popping out. "Hello Ein-tan! How are you today?" she grinned, "_Maamaa_, I guess, thanks." Jerry laid his elbows on the counter, chin resting on his hands, "Hmm~That's good. What would you and your brother like today?" Ein was about to answer when a resounding crash was heard from the kitchen, making her wince at the loud sound.

Jerry looked around, his worried-mother-hen mode coming on, "Allen-kun! Are you okay?" he asked, running farther into the kitchen.

Kanda looked at Ein. Allen was in there? Ein shrugged, looking just as surprised as he was.

"Make it go away!"

That was the only thing the siblings heard before the door to the kitchen was thrown open, revealing no other than Allen Walker in a pink frilly apron, crying with visible cuts on his arms. He glanced at the two, looking mostly at Kanda, before breaking into a run.

That glance, for some reason, took Kanda by surprise. He turned around, almost missing the flash of white exiting the cafeteria. He scrunched his face up in distaste. He didn't like that glance one bit. Especially from Allen Walker.

And so he ran, to find his distressed beloved, in amidst the confused Order that resided in that large cafeteria.

And all his sister did was smile.

* * *

Allen kept on running, ignoring the burning sensation building up in his tired legs. He rubbed his red and puffy eyes, tears still flowing from them. He glanced at the windows that stretched across the hallway he was running in, and immediately regretted doing that particular action.

The eerie reflection of the fourteenth stood there, smiling like a madman. Allen stopped running abruptly, making him wobble with his spent legs and fall to the cold, marble surface. He didn't stop moving though, as he tried as best as he could to move away from the reflection, desperation showing in his puffy red eyes. The tears still flowed, and Allen wondered for a moment where they were all coming from, as they didn't seem to stop.

"Go away.." he murmured, raising his hands to cover his ears, as the fourteenth started whispering into his ears. "Go away!" he shouted, squeezing his eyes shut. The voice became voices, jabbing at him with words that they'd know would hurt him. "Please go away.."

"Sorry beansprout, but I have no intention of going away."

Before he could react, a pair of strong arms wrapped around him, securing him closer to some sort of warmth, most probably from a person. He slowly opened his eyes. Only one person called him that name..

"Kan…da?" he said, making it sound more like a question than an acknowledgement. The older let out a grunt, "You look like crap beansprout," he said, absently wiping away the tears clinging onto the boy's eyes. Allen closed his eyes, letting the older continue with his abnormally sweet action.

Though this could be called a change of treatment, like the ones he got from his friends, for some reason, he liked this change of Kanda. It was sweet, and it reminded him of how Mana used to hold him when he was a child, yet he still held that rough exterior, though softened. He smiled.

"Moya--?! Oi! Wake up!"

Kanda really is different from the others, especially in Allen's heart. He just needs to find out what made him stand out from the others. But he'll know soon enough, right?

* * *

And it stops there!!

Aaah, this chapter came out suckier than expected! I'm so sorry!! Please don't flame me!! I'm fine with no reviews as long as there's no flames!! Q[]Q

Well, um, you get the point right? . If I write this out as I planned it, this fic will end in…about five chapters? Unn…=A=

Reviews please? QAQ


	7. Unbreakable Bonds

**Yuruginai Shinrai**

By ShiraiHime

Disclaimer: Not mine

A/N: Hey guys, I've been wracking my brain for ways to end this fic, but I just couldn't find one except for this. The ending is after the kiss scene :)

**Chapter 7: Unbreakable Bonds  
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When Allen awoke, he noticed two things.

One, the ribbon securing the apron he wore was digging into his back, and it wasn't a nice feeling, that's for sure.

And two, this was _not_ his room.

He cautiously looked around from where he lied. The room looked like a more empty version of his, and the walls had way less cracks than his did. He twitched at the thought, why did he have to get the crowded, cracked room? Three quarters of the stuff in his room wasn't even his! He pouted to himself, propping himself up on his elbows to help himself up.

"Finally awake I see."

Allen almost jumped out of his skin from hearing someone speak so suddenly. He looked to his right, and saw that Kanda was sitting on a chair, right next to the bed, arms folded. Allen was about to ask him where he was when he stopped himself. If this wasn't the infirmary or his room, then this had to be…

He flushed horribly, not seeing Kanda's small smirk of amusement. He clutched at the bed sheets, pushing them away from him slowly. _'Kanda's bed…I-I'm in Kanda's bed…!'_ he thought, pure horror enveloping his poor mind, his blush becoming so much worse even his curse mark was becoming hard to see. The implications his poor minds was conjuring was not helping his problem whatsoever.

He swung his legs to the edge of the bed, careful as to not hit Kanda while he did so. Because that would make the situation so much worse, after using Kanda's bed and everything. Though Kanda may have become softer from the previous week, you never know when he'll go back to treating him like dirt, just like the day they first met. He gave the older a shaky smile, a hand raised comically, "Th-thank you for letting me use your bed..I'll be on my way now…" just as he was about to push himself off of the bed, Kanda flicked him in the forehead, making him whimper and sit back down again, almost falling backwards onto the bed again.

"What was that for!?" he asked loudly, forgetting about his past fears about the older ripping him to tiny little pieces for using his bed. He clutched at the flicked area, pouting as he did so, small droplets of tears clinging onto his pale eyelashes. His blush subsided slightly, just enough for the curse mark to be seen, but even so, his blush was as strong as ever.

It took all of Kanda's willpower not to ravish the boy right there. Shaking his head, he quickly went down to business.

"I want answers. Why have you been acting so strange lately?" he asked, slamming his hands to the headboard that Allen was leaning on, startling the now trapped boy. The smaller of the two trembled, the force of Kanda's glare getting to him.

"W-What do you mean?" his voice shook as he asked this, his mismatched hands clutching onto his pink apron, that was still-regrettably- worn. He bit his lip as Kanda leaned in closer, his legs rearranging themselves so he wouldn't lose his balance while he trapped the younger boy. Kanda narrowed his eyes, getting irritated by the lack of answer "You know exactly what I mean, idiot beansprout. Breaking mirrors? Suddenly beginning to give me more attention than necessary? What, is this some kind of teenage phase or something? Because if it is, then _fuck_-I'm glad _I_ never went through it." he said coldly.

Why was he saying all this?

'_Exactly, why am I saying all this?'_ he asked himself, _'Didn't I finally admit that I liked him? So why am I saying things like this to him? Shouldn't I be showering him with love and affection or some shit like_ _that?'_

'_Why am I hurting him?'_

His inner questioning was interrupted when he heard faint sounds of sniffles. He looked at the beansprout, unable to see his face properly as he was facing downwards, his snow white bangs covering half of his face. But, to his shock, he managed to make out what the sudden violent trembling meant. The sniffles just added onto his theory.

'_Goddammit-he's crying?!'_

Kanda moved his hand to push away the boys bangs gently, only able to catch a glimpse of red eyes and fat tears before having his hand swatted away by said boy. After swatting away his hand, Allen put both of his hands to his face, covering whatever that's visible, his trembling not getting any better.

"Oi oi..Look, I didn't mean to make you cry or anything.." Kanda mumbled, not very familiar with saying these kinds of things. Hell, last time he said something like this was when he was in five! Allen made himself smaller, "I'm not crying!" he exclaimed, slightly muffled by his hands. Kanda bit his lip. He couldn't believe he was doing this…

"Hey, I'm not good with this sort of thing, but um.." he furrowed his eyebrows in embarrassment, "I'm s..s..so..so-sorr..y.." he stuttered, wanting to smack himself there and there for doing something as degrading as that. But, to his surprise, after he said that, Allen looked up at him, eyes wide with surprise.

"You said sorry.." he said, sounding astonished. Kanda growled, trying to hide his embarrassment, "Yeah, well, I'm not going to say it again, so..!" he was cut off short, not by being punched, not by another sentence, but by a certain small boy's arms, wrapped around his neck securely. Because of the sudden force of the embrace, Kanda fell backwards onto the bed, bringing the still clinging Allen down onto him.

Despite his pure bliss of being embraced by his love interest, he still had to make sure whether this was a hug between friends, or between friends that are actually more than that. Taking a deep breath, he gently pried the smaller one's arms away from him, earning an adorable blush as the both sat up. Allen scurried to sit cross-legged in front of the older while Kanda merely copied the sitting position.

"Sorry…" Allen mumbled, embarrassment laced in his tone, "I don't know what came over me..Just..you never say sorry to anyone, and to hear you say sorry to me is just..I don't know, it just made me feel really happy okay?" he squeaked, regaining his composure while tucking a stray strand of white hair behind his ear. Ironically, it's the same ear that Kanda found quite delectable a week ago.

"It made you happy?" he asked, trying to ignore the tempting urges that pestered him. Allen nodded, feeling his face warm up "Yeah..I-I don't know okay? I mean, you've always been such a jackass to me ever since I arrived at the Order, but recently.." he cautiously glanced up at the older, looking rather flirtatious in the older teens eyes, as his face was facing downwards while his eyes looked upwards at him. Kanda shook his head, getting rid of the thoughts.

Allen fidgeted, "Kanda..Recently I found that..you're the only one that doesn't treat me differently. You know, since the whole fourteenth Noah thing and everything…" he mumbled, fumbling around with his hands. "Like..Everyone takes pity in me, when I don't want it at all. I just want them to treat me like they always do," he paused, looking at Kanda in the eye, "You..You're the only one that did that. And it made me happy, even if I still don't like that nickname." He smiled shyly, making Kanda's heart skip a beat.

"Also.." he started, getting Kanda's attention again (when _didn't_ he get his attention anyway?) "Lately, you've been really nice to me..And.." he furrowed his eyebrows, letting out a pout, "I've been feeling something really weird..Like…Some.._doki doki_ feeling, whenever I see you." He explained, furrowing his eyebrows more because of the awkward way he described his feeling. It wasn't his fault he didn't know what it is!

Kanda merely gazed at him, his glare no longer present on his handsome face. A corner of his lip twitched upwards, forming into a smirk as he pulled the smaller boy into an embrace, sniffing into his snow white hair.

"You're such a child sometimes you know?" he chuckled, making Allen blush and pout, a sight far too tempting for the average person. "What do you mean by that?!" exclaimed the smaller boy, though he made no move to reject the embrace the older had initiated. Rather, he leant into Kanda's chest, feeling rather comfortable in that position.

"Why are you-" "Why am I holding you like this?" Kanda finished, nuzzling his head into the boys hair, liking the soft feeling the boys hair had. "Because I want to, beansprout." He replied._'And I also want to see whether that 'doki doki' feeling really is because of what I think it is.' _"So stay quiet for a while. Or I'll punch you."

Despite the threat directed at him, his face flushed as he snuggled more into Kanda's chest, the older not complaining the slightest bit. In fact, the older looked quite happy, which, if was at any other time would be deemed as horrifying. Kanda smirked again, leaning back to give the two some space between each other.

"I think I know what that feeling is, beansprout." He said slowly, getting Allen's attention, the smaller boy looking up at him curiously. "What is it?" he asked. Clearly he's never known anything about love, which, in a sense, is quite saddening. He tilted his head to the side cutely, waiting for the answer.

"It's love, you stupid beansprout."

"Wha—"

Allen was cut short when Kanda's lips crushed themselves onto his. His eyes widened, not believing that this was happening. He pushed at the older, his attempts ending in epic failure. Kanda got annoyed at this, and pushed them down onto the bed, lying on top of the smaller boy. Allen then tried to shout at Kanda, but then found to his horror, that that was a horrible mistake, as Kanda shoved his tongue into his mouth right when he opened it. He blushed horribly, the weird foreign feelings of having someone else's tongue roam in his mouth. After a while, he got used to the feeling and ceased his pushing, melting into the kiss. Seeing this, Kanda smirked through the kiss, triumphant.

After finally pulling away to breathe, Kanda licked his lips, making Allen shiver from the hint that seemed to give. Had he looked at himself in the mirror, he'd say he looked like crap, or at least raped. His shirt was disheveled, his hair was messy, and the redness of his lips and cheeks weren't residing anytime soon. Recovering from the lip-licking, Allen squeaked, more from embarrassment than anger, "T-That was my first kiss! Y-You stole my first kiss!" he stuttered, trying to sound angry but failing. Kanda smirked, leaning closer, "Yeah, and I liked it. And I'm sure you liked it too." he said, still on top of the smaller boy, his elbows supporting his upper body.

"What do you mean!? O-Of course I didn't like it! My first kiss got stolen by a guy! Do you think I'd be happy?!" he asked, face still rather flustered. Kanda didn't waver, his smirk still set on his lips, as if he was sure that that wasn't true. True to his word, he spoke.

"Stop lying to yourself, beansprout." He said, "Think about it; your heart beats faster when you see me, you think of me as special, and after some point in that kiss, you started admitting to yourself that you liked it." Allen flushed, pouting. "Now, what do you think that is, beansprout? What feeling is it?"

"…..Love."

"Good boy." Kanda relished at the nickname, kissing the smaller boy on the forehead. "So that means..?"

Allen looked blankly at him for a few seconds, before his eyes widened and his face became even redder. He covered his face with his hands, his blush still visible as it reached up to his ears. Kanda smirked at this, and took away his elbow supports, and simply lied on Allen.

"It's okay, I love you too." He whispered, somehow liking the tremble that the boy let out. Call him sadistic, but that's just how it is. Allen took his hands away from his face, gazing into the dark, sapphire orbs of Kanda's eyes with his own rain coloured ones, filled with innocence.

"R-Really?" he asked shyly. Kanda pecked him on the lips, making him squeak "Of course. Why else would I do this to you? If I didn't feel anything for you, would I be doing these sort of things to you now?" he asked, making the child widen his eyes in realization. God this child was slow.

"Then…!" Kanda stopped him, "Wait, I want to hear it from you." Allen looked confused, clearly having no idea whatsoever of what Kanda was talking about. "Hear what?"

"That you love me."

Allen, from the rate of how red his face was getting, looked like he was about to faint. Kanda kissed him again, encouraging him. Finally, Allen got the courage, and leaving his pride in the dust, he confessed.

"I…love you, Kanda."

And that was the truth that Allen found that day, in Kanda's room, in that frilly pink apron of his. He smiled to himself.

He's finally found a light through all that darkness.

* * *

Ein jolted up from her bed, breathing heavily. What the hell was that? She wondered. She was just taking a nap when all of a sudden she felt a sharp feeling in her chest, like she was being stabbed. But as soon as the feeling came, it left.

She looked to her bedside table and saw Kanda's lotus. He'd left the hourglass there yesterday so that Allen wouldn't have to see it, and Ein didn't have any complaints even though it was a sore reminder of the curse she initiated.

The lotus was in full bloom.

"What?!" she exclaimed, going closer to it. It had less than five petals yesterday! She was happy, sure, that her brother had a longer lifespan, but how was her question…

Tears filled her eyes, blurring the image of the flower. She smiled happily, touching the hourglass. He did it.

Words of the witch in the lotus pond rang in the recesses of her mind.

'_To break the curse, your brother needs to form a bond with a person, and live through all the hardships life throws at him. This curse will make his life worse, even after he breaks it…' _

'_What kind of bond is it?' she asked_

_Yuruginai Shinrai;_

_Unbreakable Bonds._

**-End-**

**Thank you for reading.**


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